I Don't Know Why I Feel so Lonely

I don't know why I feel so fucking lonely. I mean, I know why, but I can't explain why I feel that way. The point of this blog entry is not only to clarify to all the pretty single ladies (or the not-so-single girls that might be unhappy and tired of their current boyfriends and are looking for something "better*") that I am currently available, but to try to explain and thus, solve my little dilemma. I know people that are perfectly happy being single and don't seem to mind not having a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but I think I mind my singleness more than I should. I mind my singleness so much, to the point where it bothers me. You may be wondering why it bothers me so much, but as the title suggests, I don't fucking know why!


There are a couple of factors that I think could contribute to my problem or maybe be the entire problem itself. One of those factors is the music I listen to. I'm gonna go all out and say that I listen to a lot of love songs. I can say without exaggeration that 75% of the songs on my iPod are love songs. And not the corny Top 40, radio pop shit, this is the real deal. Yo La Tengo, The Rentals, Dinosaur Jr., Elvis Costello and the Attractions, R.E.M., The Cure, Del Shannon, The Knack (their album "Re-Zoom" to be exact), Superchunk, Superdrag, amongst countless others. And that's not even counting my twee-pop collection! That music is so sweet, precious and borderline cheesy that it would make the most hardcore, bitter, straight-edge asshole on the planet smile like a school girl being asked to the homecoming dance by her crush.


Not only that, but I grew up listening to a lot 50s and 60s pop music*, so I have that mentality that girls are precious, delicate beings that must be cared for, pampered, treated with utmost respect, and loved with every last stand of anything in your body, and that you absolutely HAVE to find one and be in love. Ok, reading this makes the whole thing seem very extreme, but seriously, love is the meaning of all life to these people, and without it, life has no purpose... to them.


Another factor is that I have never been in a "serious" relationship and I don't date around. And yet ANOTHER factor is that I am very unattractive, over-weight and detached, and this leads to me not being in relationships. Full circle. Most of the people I talk to about my situation happen to be people either in unhappy relationships or people who date around a lot, and they are probably either tired of being in relationships, or they just happen to date really shitty people, therefore, making them think that love is not so great. And those who are in happy relationships seem generally uninterested in my love problems. But they all usually offer the same generic piece-of-useless-shit advice: "Don't worry! You'll find someone eventually! Just be happy! They are out there and when you find them you'll regret being sad." No offense to them, though. I know that they are only trying to help, but be a little more original for fuck sakes, it gets old, for reals.


There are probably a lot more factors, like the fact that people don't know what they want, or that I'm not what people want, or that I live in Tucson*, or that people are just plain shallow. Or I'm really that fucking unattractive, I have become undateble to most women*. All in all, I guess I want to see what it's all about, but I have not really gotten the chance to date, as much as I have wanted to. I still happen to think that love is the single most important thing in this world, 'cause without it, life would be just sex...


Footnotes:


Better:  I put this word in quotes to indicate that I am semi-kidding. I would say that I am a fucking catch but that would make me self-righteous and pig-headed.


50s and 60s pop music: I'm talking about the Temptations, Buddy Holly, or "oldies" as everyone calls it nowadays... Oh, and to people that don't know me personally, I'm not some 60-year-old fart rambling about love, I'm 18.


Tucson: Tucson sucks, thus making its inhabitants feel... sucky.


Undateable to most women: Women to me are moderately good looking and/or interesting and/or elegant and/or smart. All other females that are too bland or stale are just holes*.

Holes: Comically sexual!

Media Madness

This week I talk about what it would probably be like if I decided to write a book and also about the differences between Podcasting and Blogging.





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An Introduction

Here it is, everybody! The first episode of my podcast series. I introduce myself and throw in an older piece I wrote a couple of months ago. Enjoy! (mp3)